Haiti Changed Me
It has been over three weeks since I left Haiti. It has been over three weeks since I witnessed Jesus do amazing things. It has been over three weeks since I have been impacted by an amazing country, wonderful people, and a radically loving and strong culture. It has been over three weeks since I felt at home away from home (Gainesville) away from home (West Melbourne). It has been over three weeks since my fire for missions, international relationship, diversity, and social justice was rekindled.
I have been wanting to write about Haiti for over three weeks now. However, every time I sat down at the key board, I got stuck. The words did not flow from my head to my fingers. The inspiration did not come.
I know why. God was saying wait. Why? I am not sure. Perhaps, He wanted me to reflect on my experience for over three weeks rather than rushing to share my scattered thoughts. Perhaps, it is because He wanted me to act and make changes in my current life before being still and fully reflecting. The why is not important though. What is important is the now in light of the past!
This morning at Green House Church (GHC), Pastor Mike continued our service series in Joshua on chapter 4 where God commands Joshua and the Israelites to build a memorial for them and their generations to remember the goodness and faithfulness of the LORD. I listened and thought how my blogs, journals, and stories are small memorials for me to look back on as well as testimonies to share to others about His pure awesomeness. Near the end, I felt that tug in my heart of Him saying: "START WRITING, EM!" So, please let me share with you all what Jesus did in Haiti!
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My first thoughts while in Haiti were of awe and gratitude. It had been almost five years since I had been in Cap-Haitien. Being back felt awing. It felt a bit odd yet familiar. The only thoughts I had toward God were "thank you" and "what now?".
That last thought, I expressed it because I wondered why God had brought me back to Haiti. What lesson did He want to teach me? What work did He want me to do? What miracle did He want my eyes to witness? What word(s) did He want my ears to hear and engrain within my memory?
During our first team meeting for reflection (one of P4H Global's mottos is a quote by John Dewey: "We do not learn from experience... we learn from reflecting on experience"), our team leaders asked us to write a word that described how we felt about the days to come on this trip. My word was TORN. I felt anxious about being on a team of 50+ people and not knowing everyone, let alone everyone's names. I felt fear that my Creole was not good enough and that this would hinder me from connecting with people. Yet, I was expectant. I felt like God was going to do something big in relationships, both with God and with others around me.
On Sunday, our team woke up before the crack of dawn to go to church. While there, we worshipped with our Haitian brothers and sisters and listened to Pastor Isaac preach from the Word of God. He stated that we are never poor because we have God, a treasure that will never disappear. I thought about my Haitian siblings as well as my American siblings. No matter our background, our monetary wealth, our status here on earth, the only thing that makes us rich is if we have a relationship with Jesus. I find that beautiful, don't you?
Also, while we were worshipping, I happened to glance up and see a man dancing on the roof, singing and lifting his hands towards the Heavens. I immediately thought of David worshipping without a care of what other's thought of him, not even his wife (2 Samuel 6:12-23). I thought, "Lord, make me like that man. Let my worship be solely for you without a care of what other's think about me. Let my worship be embarrassing to others while honoring and pleasing to You!"
This morning at GHC's Lincoln service, worship was liiiiit, and I was jumping up and down, lifting my hands, and shouting praises to the Alpha and Omega. It was not until now that I am seeing how God is answering my prayer of worship Him without giving a care about what others think. I find that amazing, and I can't wait to see how much more He opens up my heart to glorify Him!
While on the trip, I had numerous opportunities to share my testimony as well as hear other team members' testimonies (or what I call Jesus stories). These stories started on the car ride down to the Miami airport and did not stop until I was back at Gainesville. I heard how God had brought people to Haiti. I heard horror stories and how Jesus healed people from past trauma. I heard stories that made me weep from the pain and then rejoice when I saw how God's radical love and grace had infiltrated their lives. Every Jesus story fanned the flame within my soul. It reminded me that their is true power in the word of our testimony (Revelations 12:11). And not just the testimonies from my team members. The Haitian people had countless stories worth listing to.
In the mornings before we began ministering and educating the community, we sat in a large circle and listened to the Haitian community. For three days, we listened to the thoughts of three groups: men, women, and youth.
From the men, I learned that, if you have these four things, you can never be poor: God, ability to study, a specific topic to learn, and a spirit of discipline. I heard them say that their county is not poor, but it needs people to educate them. One man shared that he desires us to show them how to fish rather than just giving a fish (give them jobs rather than leftover goods). Another man added that he does not want us to solely teach us how to fish; he wants us to teach him how to make the net to fish with (demonstrate how to create jobs). They shared that thinking about Haiti is one thing; acting for Haiti is more. I now wonder how my actions can uplift my Haitian brothers. I can start by telling you their dreams in hopes that you will listen.
From the women, I learned that it is a privilege to serve men. One lady said, "I'm not married yet, but that doesn't stop me from preparing my heart and mind for marriage". These women shared that they are there for their husbands to serve them, to encourage them, and to uplift them. In Haiti, the woman is known as "Poto miton" which means "The middle pillar in a house". Women are strong, and, without women, the life of man does not have reason. That is why God made Eve for Adam, to give him a companion (Genesis 2:18-25). In the end, the women shared why they love their husbands (those who were married). Their husbands took care of them, provided for them, and declared to them how beautiful they are.
From the youth, I saw passion from all of them to shape their country for the better. One wanted to be a police man. One wanted to invest in children. One wanted to be an engineer. They knew that, if you could teach children how to love each other, then they can grow into powerful, respectful adult. Also, if you teach children to be faithful with little, then, when the older generation is gone, they will grow up to be faithful with little and much. That last point makes me think of Luke 16:10, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."
After the youth meeting, I talked with one of them. Her name is Mariel. Her and I talked for a bit, and she shared that she was thinking about coming to Florida to intern with GHC. I told her that I was thinking about interning with the church during the summer as well. I asked her why she wanted to do the internship, and she replied, "I want to learn and then share that knowledge with my people here." Wow! Such a selfless and honoring reason to desire to learn. I told her that, if she ended up interning with the church, even if I didn't, I would come visit Gainesville to hang out with her. She liked that idea. Turns out that I am doing the summer internship. I hope and pray to see her there too.
Through the guidance of the Holy Spirit and amazing leaders, we accomplished what we set out to do through health education, youth leadership development, and vacation Bible school (VBS). I was on the VBS team and aided in the skits group. On the last day, we acted out Daniel and the lions' den, and I did have the opportunity to put on my lion onesie. I hid myself behind some chairs and did not emerge until Daniel was thrown in. The kids loved the surprise, and some of them roared at me for the remainder of that day, haha.
The children that came to the training center (TC) made various impacts on me. Three sisters with backpacks practiced reading English with a team member and then sang a beautiful song for us. One boy shared that his father passed away when he was little and pointed out his brother in a group of kids. When I saw the brother, I recalled him being put in timeout because he was misbehaving. My heart sank now knowing something I did not see before, a home without a loving father. There was also a girl who leaped into my arms and stayed with me for over an hour. She would repeatedly point towards the team bus asking for me to carry her there. She taught me how to pronounce the letters written on the bus's side in Creole, and I reciprocated by teaching her English. On the last day, a sweet little girl named Stella wrapped her arms around me and would not let go. I eventually sat down in a chair and just held her. She was quiet and peaceful which I needed in that moment. We were just present with each other making up games with our fingers and tightly holding each other.
The main take away for me on this trip was seeing how the church should interact with each other. I witnessed brothers and sisters praying for each other. If someone shared a struggle, someone else did not hesitate to pause and pray for them. I saw the power of prayer against injuries, illnesses, and for positive mental health. I saw the body of Christ edifying each other in love and truth.
One evening, our team partnered with the Haitian community in worship. At the end, we prayed for three parties: our leaders Bertrhude and Priscilla, our whole team, and then the Haitian community. One of the Haitian men pleaded with us saying, "After today, do not forget about us in your prayers, as we will not forget about you!" I pray that I and my team members will never ever forget our Haitian brothers and sisters.
While our team was there, people were shocked that we went due to the news of unrest and injustice happening with the Haitian government and the people. They thought we were crazy. However, our team leaders went above and beyond to make sure that we would be safe. So, after investigating and praying, we decided to go. What did we find out while there? Cap-Haitien was safe! Everyone there has gone back to their lives, though you could see the hurt and sorrow in their eyes from the injustice they are experiencing.
Today, I checked the Travel State Gov's website to see what they were telling people who are thinking about visiting Haiti. They still have yet to update it from their last post on February 14 and still have it at level 4: Do Not Travel! It has been over three weeks since I was safely in Haiti, and they still have not changed the country's travel status! It honestly makes me mad because this makes Haiti look bad! It causes the world to view Haiti as a dangerous county rather than the strong and resilient nation that it really is! I know my Haitian brothers and sisters are saddened by this, and I mourn with them.
On our last full day, we went on adventures to the Cidedelle (a historical fortress) and the beach. That day was a day of memories for me. Heading back to our base from the Cidedelle to prepare for the beach, our van drove down streets that I recognized. I knew them from the two previous trips a few years prior. Suddenly, I quickly snapped a picture and yelled, "That's it! That's the base I stayed at last time!" There it was just as I remembered. A rush of memories flooded my mind, especially the children I knew. I wondered if they were okay and prayed that they were. Later that afternoon, we arrived at the beach, and I laughed. It was the same beach I had visited on the prior trips. More memories came as I stepped in that familiar sand and dove into the shallow refreshing water.
There were also many fun and funny memories during the trip. Practicing skits was always full of good laughs. We often got each other hyped with impromptu dances and competing chants of TC verses Legliz. At the talent show, I performed a rap bashing Legliz which caused a riot and pure awesomeness! Haha! If you are curious, check out the lyrics here! ;)
On our last day, we had a final reflextion period. We were asked to look back at our first word describing the trip and then come up with a new word to describe our experience. I thought about it and came up with this transition:
TORN --> BELONGING
There were many goodbyes, but I knew a lot of them were "see you later". Over the past three weeks, I kept running into "mi famni"(my family) around campus and at church. It has been a blessing bumping into mi famni and continuing to encourage one another. Next Sunday, we are gathering together for a reunion potluck, and I am so stoked!
About two weeks ago, I finally started to full reflect and understand everything that happened while in Haiti. While reflecting, I glanced at my wall of notes and noticed a particular one. It was an anonymous note written by one of the women at my microchurch about two months ago. I recalled believing they were words of encouragement for my trip to Haiti. I began to read the front fully feeling it relate to my trip:
“The LORD will take care of you. 100%. The victory is already won and, if He takes care of the flowers and the birds, how much more will He care for you? That being said… ‘Do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, count others more significant than yourselves.’ – Philippians 2:3”
Those words would have been enough, but the back had one final note that made me laugh at God’s sense of humor and love:
“A word for you: BELONGING”
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PS: I want to give a special thanks to those who prayerfully and financially aided me on this trip!
Danielle Van Liere
Amy Trammel
Shawn Reeves
Sarah Deibner
Nancy Deibner
Pastor Ann Hoy
Nanny and Papa
Christoffer Tarras Madsen
Jessica O'Sullivan
Sedona Huffty
Corben Murray
Kevin and Stephanie Sides
Thank you for your generosity! You were God's hand of provision for this trip, and I will forever be grateful for you!