Dear Goodbye

Dear Goodbye,

I hate you. I know hate is a strong word, and I was taught at a young age to never say that word to anyone. But I hate you. I really do, and I refuse to deny it.

Also, you confuse me. Your very existence doesn’t make sense in my brain. You claim to be "good", but I’ve never seen you as good. When I see you, I see separation. I see tears. I see pain as you create a chasm between loved ones. I see death in your eyes. Your vision doesn’t look good to me.

The only times I’ve seen you as positive is in one of these two conditions:

1. It’s a “goodbye” that is really a hopeful “see you later”. Or...

2. It’s a “goodbye” to something or someone you hope to never see again.

Yet, in both cases, I still see bad. In the former, there is a temporary loss until either the loss is found or... the loss becomes permanent and is never to be found. In the latter, I see pain that caused you to later exist. Neither of these positive conditions seem good to me.

However, I know you. I’ve known you for a long time. Though I’ve wished you away, you keep creeping back into my life. I can’t get away from you. The memories I have of you have already forced tears to stream down my cheeks writing out this letter to you...

I saw you...

I saw you when my friend died when I was only 6.

I saw you when my other friend moved away around that time.

I saw you when I stopped going to public school and when we switched churches.

I saw you when my oldest sister left for college to then get married to then move out of state to then move to the other side of the globe.

I saw you when my best friend went away to college.

I saw you when my grandma died.

I saw you when my uncle died.

I saw you when my dear amiga died.

I saw you when she committed suicide.

I saw you when she left, and then her, and then her, and then him, and over and over and over again....

I know your face, your deadly, piercing eyes!

I know you!...

You... you give me no hope in this life...

None.....

.....

.....

.....

That is...

Until He met you!

Don’t you dare tell me you have forgotten His face, His eyes, His eyes of Love and Life! Have you forgotten His face? Have you forgotten when you met Him some 2,000 years ago? Have you forgotten the exchange that happened back then, the exchange that is still in place today??

Well, let me remind you today what happened!

He met you the moment He was born, and you made sure to show your ugly face to Him countless times. Peter's mother, the centurion’s servant, countless lepers, Jairus’ daughter, His friend Lazarus. All of these you threatened with death, but guess what He did? He healed them! And those who did taste death, whom you said “goodbye” to, He brought them back to life!

So, what did you do? You kept up your pathetic schemes. You turned His disciple into a traitor and then made the chasm bigger with his suicide. You caused another follower to deny Him three times. You turned Him over into jealous hands who wanted to say “goodbye” to Him once and for all through the means of a criminal's death, a death He definitely did not deserve. You helped drive those piercing nails into His hands and feet on that dead tree. And then, you pushed the last breath out of Him thinking His lifeless body was a symbol to the world of the power you hold, you and your goodbyes....

But you were wrong. Oh, you were dead wrong, goodbye! Because, when you kissed Him “goodbye”, three days later, He said “hello again”.

He came back! He, whom you deemed to be done and gone for good, was back and alive for good! He came back and is alive to this very day!

And now, when He came back, you were transformed. He created a door were there had previous only been a dead end. He turned your hopeless state into a hopeful one. He became King over you and forced you to submit to His will for all your past, present, and future schemes. He turned you into a “see you later”.

I don’t fear you anymore because He is much stronger than you. I don’t feel hopeless nor depressed when facing your eyes because He is my hope in a ”see you later”. Also, I’m learning to not hate you so much. In fact, I might start loving you one day. Maybe. But at least I’m starting to heal from all our history of fallouts.

You have no power over me any longer, Goodbye. None. You can try to chain me down again, but you’ll fail. Because the One Who kissed you “goodbye” some 2,000 years ago lives inside of me. He has promised to never say “goodbye” to me, and I don’t ever want to say “goodbye” to Him, the very One Who is my hope in life against you. So, as a twist, I’ll end this letter by saying, “see ya later, Goodbye”.

Sincerely,

Em (Lee), beloved daughter of the King

P.S. If you still don’t remember Him after all of that, let me remind you of His Name. His name is Jesus! Feel free to write to Him if you have a complaint against this letter.