The LORD Will Provide
The start of my senior year was the beginning of a new chapter for me. I was not an athlete anymore which was my main identity at UF, more than my identity as a student. Before classes started, I had a phone conversation with my athletic discipleship leader, Kev, who encouraged me to find a group of Christians who had a similar passion to me, one for international relationships and mission work. I began to pray asking God to show me where to go.
Over a month later (Sept. 30), I was at Greenhouse Church during their evening service for the students at UF. As I was leaving, I heard someone say, “Hi Emily!” I looked and saw Jess whom I knew through athletics. She used to intern with the athletic training staff, and we would talk whenever we were both in the training room. We began to chat and shared what we were up to now. She then asked, “Hey, are you a part of a microchurch?”
“No, I’m not, but I have been thinking about joining one.”
“You should come visit the one I attend! We meet weekly on Monday nights.”
“Yeah, that sounds great!”
“Awesome! However, tomorrow is a bit different. We are going to the P4H Fete. Do you know what that is?” I admitted that I didn’t, and she explained that P4H was a mission organization and that the fete was their kick-off event. I was intrigued and told her I would love to go.
When I arrived at the Fete, I sat with Jess and several others from her microchurch. In short, so much awesomeness happened that night! The main thing was when Bertrhude and Priscilla, the CEO's of P4H, shared their story and how their organization desires to make long term investments in the Haitian community rather than just giving the people handy-downs that do not solve the real problems of poverty. Another way of saying it, they stood for sustainable development by educating people.
Leaving the fete (which means “party”, and boy was it one!), numerous thoughts were swirling in my mind: “This is an answer to my prayers! Maybe this is why God led me to study Sustainability and the Built Environment! Maybe this is how my degree and God’s calling for me to be a missionary are connected! Maybe this is why God let me go to Cap-Haïtien, Haiti during the summers of 2013 and 2014! Maybe this is why God has giving me the freedom to stop athletics this year! Maybe God wants me to go with P4H during their spring break trip to Haiti?”
The following Monday evening, I met with my new microchurch and met a girl named Heather. Jess told her what my degree was, and Heather’s face brightened as she told me, “You have to sign up for the Haiti trip!” I told her I was thinking about it, and she encouraged me to continue thinking and praying about it. I really felt like God was stirring a desire to go back to Haiti, but the cost of the trip was holding me back from signing up.
A few days before the deadline at the end of October, I was at microchurch, and Heather asked me if I had signed up for the trip. I told her I wanted to and felt like God might have been calling me to go, but I hadn’t due to the lack of funds. She told me, “Em, if money is the only thing that is holding you back, don’t let it because God will provide.” I knew she was right. Two days later, I took a leap of faith and applied for the trip knowing that God would have to provide if He truly wanted me to go.
Two weeks later, I received an email that I was prayerfully accepted onto the spring break team. A few days later, our team had its first meeting, and I meet all 40+ of the people going. Honestly, I was still on the fence of whether God wanted me to go on this trip. I barely knew a handful of the people there, and I did not have the $250 deposit that was due that evening to claim my commitment to this trip. After the meeting though, my heart was on fire for Jesus, and I was 99% sure He wanted me on this trip. The only issue was the $250 deposit. As I drove home, I prayed, “God, thank You for this opportunity, but I don’t have the funds to go. Lord, only You can provide the funds. All glory to You, Jesus. Amen!”
When I entered my apartment, there was an envelope on the coffee table with a note from my roommate:
Em, here is the $250 for your deposit to go on the trip, especially if you feel the Lord call. If there’s one thing I have learned in missions, money can’t be an excuse. God will provide if He wants you to go. Love, D
Words cannot even begin to describe what I was feeling! I was laughing, crying, leaping for joy, and praising Jesus while texting my roommate how thankful I was for her giving. The next day when I saw her between our classes, I said, “D, are you sure about this? Because that is a lot of money to give away!”
“But Em, that’s not my money.”
I blinked, “What do you mean?”
She then explained, “Since the beginning of the year, I have been saving money to give away for God. I thought about putting in the church’s offering bowl on Sunday, but that seemed unpersonal. When you mentioned that your mission trip deposit was $250, I checked and had almost that exact amount.”
We were both smiling and laughing at how crazy awesome Jesus is! That afternoon, I gave P4H the deposit money and continued this journey of trust.
I quickly started fundraising and sent out letters to people I trusted asking them to prayerfully consider supporting my trip. Several people generously gave, and I earned enough to buy the plane ticket in the beginning of January. However, I still had a few hundred that I needed to earn for the trip itself.
By February, I had not received any more financial support. Feeling a bit stressed, I brainstormed a few ways I could earn more funds, but, in the end, I prayed, “But Lord, You are the One Who has to provide the funds.”
That evening, I went to my microchurch and had a conversation with Jess. After a few minutes of chatting, she asked me how fundraising for Haiti was going. I told her, “I still have a few hundred I need to raise, but it’s okay. I suppose you’re in the same boat?”
“Actually, no. Not as of this weekend.” She then told me of how she began to pray for God to provide and how He orchestrated three different opportunities to fully fund her trip. She then add, “So, I have more than I need for the trip and was wondering if I could help support your trip?”
I laughed while replying, “Jess, that is an answer to my prayer from literally this morning! I would love that!” We both praised God and were amazed at how perfect His timing was. For her, it was not until the day she prayed that God began to provide her funds. For me, it was the same story, but with her testimony influencing mine.
The following day, I had a phone conversation with my mom, and she asked me how fundraising for Haiti was going. I told her what happened the previous evening and how freaking awesome Jesus is. She replied, “Wow, that’s amazing. I remember you telling me that you wanted to trust God with this trip and that, if God wanted you to go, He would provide the funds for the trip. I guess He really wants you to go.”
The following two weeks were filled with various P4H activities. Since it was becoming apparent to me that God wanted me on this trip, I start to invest myself in Creole classes taught by our wonderful culture captains Jean and Franki. One Tuesday, several P4H members were gathering in the heart of campus for a picnic, and I decided to join them. I ended up talking with Youselene and shared with her why I joined the trip and how God confirmed His desire for me to be on this trip through D’s giving. She was touched by my testimony and shared with me her story. Next thing I knew, we were sharing more testimonies of how Jesus has transformed our lives while at UF, and I left the picnic filled with joy and excitement for what else God had instore, for me, Youselene, and the many others on our team.
Around the time of meeting Youselene, news of the riots and political unrest in Haiti came to America. Our mission leaders frequently gave us updates on the situation and told us that they believed God was still giving our team the opportunity to go. However, a friend of mine went down to Cap-Haïtien during this time and advised me not to go if the situation was still rough by spring break. I took his words seriously and began to ask God if He still wanted me to go.
This past Sunday, my dear friend Sarah and I went to Greenhouse church. While worshipping, I was thinking and praying about Haiti and wrote these words in my journal:
Lord, there have been a lot of political and civil unrest in Haiti. My home church had a group of men that went down last week, and they encountered a lot of conflict. Yesterday, one of them told me what happened when they were down there, and he advised me not to go if it was still hectic in two weeks. Jesus, I have seen You move already in provision and transforming mine and others’ hearts. You have moved the mountains, and I believe I’ll see You do it again. So move, Jesus! Make Your glory known! Amen!
After worship, a guest speaker preached a sermon on Matthew 24:1-14 with a focus on verse 14: “And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come.” The speaker explained that the previous seven signs Jesus gives foretelling the end times have already happened, but this last sign, preaching the good news to all the nations, has not yet been accomplished.
Later, he told the crowd, “I am a missionary because I want to go home.” Several people chuckled including myself, but I was not laughing at him. I was laughing because I could relate. He also told us, As Paul says, ‘To live is Christ; to die is gain”. I was then reminded of another blog I wrote with that title. I recalled bolding telling others that I did not fear death because I knew where my home is, in Jesus’ eternal loving embrace.
At the end of his sermon, he stated, “I know a lot of Christians who say they are not sure if they are called to go around the globe preaching the gospel and ask God, ‘Should I go?’, when He said in Matthew 28:19 to go and make disciples of all the nations. The question is not, ‘Should I go?’ Rather, the question is, “Should I stay?’ So, why are you here when you have been so clearly told to go?”
After the sermon, I looked at Sarah and told her, “That sermon was meant for me. Jesus definitely wants me to go to Haiti.”
Sadly, that was not the last time this week I doubted God’s calling for me to go on this trip. I am like Gideon in the Bible who needed God to show him numerous signs that The LORD would fight his battle. I am like Moses who feared going back to Egypt even though God performed miracles right before his eyes. I am like Jonah who was been called to proclaim His truth yet ran the opposite direction. I am weak and fear-filled without the Holy Spirit lending me His power and courage.
The following day, I received more news of the troubles in Haiti, and loved ones were telling me that I should not go. That evening, I was driving to meet up with my microchurch feeling sad and confused. I arrived early and sat in my car praying and sharing my heart with Jesus. While praying, my car was playing my sister’s old worship CD which I mentioned in another blog. The song Rescue by Desperation Band was playing, and these lines captured my attention: This world has nothing for me. I will follow You. I began to make that my prayer when the next song began to play, God of This City by Chris Tomlin:
You're the god of this city You're the king of these people You're the lord of this nation You are
You're the light in this darkness You're the hope to the hopeless You're the peace to the restless You are
There is no one like our god There is no one like our god
For greater things have yet to come And greater things are still to be done in this city Greater things have yet to come And greater things are still to be done in this city
I then prayed, “LORD, You are the God of Cap-Haïtien. You are the King of the Haitians. You are the LORD of Haiti. You are! You are the light in this darkness. You are the hope to the hopeless. You are the peace to the restless. You are, and there is no one like You! Great things are yet to come for Haiti, for its people, for its capital Port-au-Prince. You will do great things, and I believe You already are!”
The next day, Bertrhude and Priscilla sent out another update video on Haiti. They told us the precautions they were taking, what red flags they were looking for, and that they still felt like it was safe for us to go. At the end of the film, Bertrhude stated that, if our families were uneasy about the trip, we were free to honor our parents and stay in America. My family has been gracious in letting me make the final decision, but they have highly advised me not to go. When I heard these words, I was again confused and questioning God’s calling to go or not.
This past Thursday, I was bogged down with this indecision on Haiti. I was partially mad that I could not just trust God, but I wondered if, after all He had done, He now wanted me to stay. I felt alone, depressed, and wanted to hide from the world. However, P4H had an open mic fundraiser, and something inside me made me go.
While there, I ended up talking with our team leader Darlene and another member named Gloria. They were sharing their excitement for the trip which was one week away. I tried to be excited with them, but Gloria ended up asking Darlene how her parents felt about her leading this trip during this time. Darlene said that her parents were aware of the issues but trust that God I decided to be honest and share that I was rethinking about going to honor my parents. Darlene and Gloria listened to my words with grace and told me they would be praying for me. While driving home, I did not feel depressed anymore. Rather, I felt loved because I allowed my sisters to help me carry my burden (Galatians 6:1-2).
Yesterday morning, I had tried to have quiet time with God, but I kept getting distracted by different things. Eventually, I was able to sit my butt down and read His Word. My Bible directed me to a cross reference in Genesis 22:1-14 where Abraham almost obeys God in sacrificing His only promised son until the LORD stops him and provides a ram to sacrifice instead. Then, in Genesis 22:14, it states, “So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, 'On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.’” I smiled and declared, “God, You will provide for this trip. Thank You!”
Later yesterday afternoon, I had meeting with Kev and Darlene at the campus hub where we discussed the best way for him to help support my trip. I also shared with Kev and Darlene that I was still a few hundred away from my fundraising goal. Kev encouraged me to reach out to Jess and to contact those whom I sent support letters to.
I texted Jess and explained my situation. She told me that she would figure out how much she would be able to give later that day. When I returned home, she called me stating that she had done the math and asked me how much I needed. I told her the amount, and she replied, “Okay, you’re good. I got you!”
“Oh my gosh, are you serious?”
“Yeah! I have a little over that exact number! We’re going to Haiti!”
“Haha, hallelujah!”
That evening, I joined some P4H people to learn how to dance Haitian style (Kompa). Before everyone else arrived, Darlene, Youselene, Gloria, and I were hanging out because we had all come from Creole class. I then told Darlene and the others what God did that afternoon. They were amazed, and Youselene exclaimed, “Oh my gosh, after that and the deposit story, God definitely wants you to go to Haiti!” The others looked at me expectantly as I shared the same story that I told Youselene at the picnic. They were jumping up and down, and we were all smiling, laughing, and praising God in awe of what He had done.
I suddenly remembered earlier that morning and exclaimed, “No wait! There’s more!” They all looked at me in disbelief. I then told them about my mourning devotional, coming across Genesis 22:14, and declaring that God would provide for me.
Darlene looked at me, “Emily, there is no doubt, God has placed you on this trip for a reason!”
I do not know why it has taken time after time for God to show me that He has placed me on this trip for a reason, but I finally believe now!
This upcoming Tuesday, our mission leaders will make the final call of if it is safe for us to go to Haiti. I pray that we can, and I pray that all the glory will be given to Jesus! And, even if the final decision is a no go, this journey has already been beyond worth it! However, I still want to get on that flight and show the kids at VBS my lion onesie!
My dear reader, will you please take a moment and pray:
· Pray for Haiti. Pray for the Haitians, the cities, the families, everyone in this beautiful country. Pray that there will be unexplainable peace in their hearts and that the people will turn to the One true God during this troubling time.
· Pray for the Haitian politicians. Pray that justice will be done and that those who desire good for the people will raise up into power over those who only desire power for their selfish desires.
· Pray for our team. God has clearing placed us all on this trip for a reason, but the devil will try to stop us in every way possible. Pray that the LORD will give us His strength and power so that the gates of hell will not prevail against us, His church, His beloved children.
· Pray for our families. Pray that they will trust God and know that He has set us apart for such a time as this. Pray they experience the LORD’s peace and will have a Spirit of courage instead of a spirit of fear.
· Pray for P4H. Pray that God will continue to bless this organization. Pray that they would make more connections with people who desire to make a sustainable impact for the gospel of Jesus. Pray that they would continue to be faithful servants and continue to plant seeds and reap the LORD’s harvest.
· Pray for the people that we will, LORD willing, meet in Haiti. Pray that God will already begin to work in their hearts and that they will receive our help and the good news of Jesus.
Thank you in advance!
ALL GLORY TO JESUS! AMEN!